Release
by lightvails
Summary: Harry is depressed after Ootp and doesn't no how to deal with the death of Sirius.He decides to do the only thing that will make things better,but someone gets in the way of his plans. I do not own Harry Potter
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Harry looked out the window of the Dursley's family car into the pouring rain that came down in buckets on the street that speed by him. He wasn't thinking of anything, just staring at the yellow blur of the road that passed underneath him. It had been two weeks since Dumbledore had told Harry about the prophecy that was made before he was born which held the information about how and why Harry had received his scar, and why everything had to happen to him. When Dumbledore had told Harry this it didn't seem that important. It seemed like it was some other person that Dumbledore was talking about not Harry, but Harry new it was him. It was always him. The funny thing was that he didn't really care anymore. He didn't feel human anymore. All the emotion that usually ran through his body, love, hatred, sadness it was gone, now it just felt…. numb. This was okay with Harry he didn't want to feel anything anyway so he just accepted it quietly.

As the car speed farther and farther into the pouring darkness Harry fell deeper, and deeper into his own numb thoughts. Harry had just forgotten that the Dursley's were in the same car with him when Uncle Vernon cleared him voice. Harry new what this meant. It meant Uncle Vernon had a bone to pick with Harry (he got it a lot). Harry didn't change his expression as Uncle Vernon started his speech but just kept looking out of the window.

"So, Boy, I have some new rules that we are going to discuss right now before we arrive home," Uncle Vernon said sternly, trying to sound brave, but still sounded a bit shaken up from the talk that the order had given him at the train station. Harry didn't say anything, and gazed silently out the window only half listening. After realizing that Harry didn't have a reply to this Uncle Vernon continued on.

"You will not be aloud out of the house for more than two hours a day. We don't want you to wander the streets at night disturbing people" he continued saying the last part rather faster than needed. Harry new the reason for this. It was because just last summer he, and Duddly had been attacked by a dementor on the streets of little Whinning, and Duddly had almost been kissed which is worse than deadly.

"Rule two you will only come out of your room for chores, and daily meals. If we once find you wandering around the house not doing anything it will be know meals for a week. You understand me boy?" he asked almost shouting. Harry had know clue why he was so mad at Harry when he hadn't even done anything yet, but he didn't really care. He just again stared out the window.

"Did you hear me boy?" he asked.

"Yes, sir" Harry replied dully.

"Next you will not be aloud any of your…. _schools_ books, or homework or whatever you do at that weird school in your room, and if I hear that damn bird once in the middle of the night I will chuck it out onto the street I swear to god! Do you hear me?"

"Yes, sir" Harry said; now looking up at the condo that they were passing.

"Any new rules we will inform you later." Harry waited for more until he knew uncle Vernon was finished with his speech he drifted off into his own head.

The first few weeks of summer went by slowly. Every minute felt to Harry like it was his last like he was imprisoned inside himself. The Dursley's didn't make it much better either, and they weren't joking about their new rules. It's not that Harry really cared about having to be in his room all the time except for dinner, and chores. In fact Harry liked it that way, but it was the fact that he was only aloud outside for two hours a day, unless he was doing chores. One of the nights he went out he came home 30 seconds late, and he was in deep trouble. He was starving for the next week after that. He liked to walk the streets for those hours he was aloud outside. The coolness of the night air calmed him.

When he was in his room not wandering the streets, Harry usually just lay in bed trying not to think, but was always unsuccessful. During one of these thinking times when he was thinking about Ron, and Hermione, he realized something. What if something happened to them, because of him. I mean Voldemort was after him what if he did something to Ron or Hermione to get to him just like he did with Sirius. He was endangering them just by being with them. He knew that they would do anything for him. Even risk their own lives, and of course he would do the same for them, except that is what worried him the most. When he would have to face Voldemort what if Ron, and Hermione were there with him. What if they got hurt, or… he got up quickly going to his window to let some fresh air in. He let the cool air wash over his face, and drinking in the smell of freshly cut grass. He was used to that smell, it was the smell of the suburban houses that lined his street. He slowly walked over to his bed, and got on his hands, and knee's, and reached under his bed for the loose floorboard. He got up, and held some ten letters in his hands. He looked through them all reading each one over at least twice. They were letters from Ron, Hermione, and Hagrid. They were the only things in his room that reminded him that he still belonged to another world, seeing that all his school stuff was locked under the stairs. He hadn't written back to any of them yet. It's not that he didn't really want to talk to them it was just that he didn't really know what to say to them. The letters were sort of fake sounding, and he knew exactly why. Ever since Sirius Black had died (his Godfather) his friends were treating him like a lost puppy, frightened, little baby that couldn't handle the truth. Each one of them said things like "Well I'm doing fine. How are you? Have you got your Owl marks back yet I haven't. I can't wait to see you. My family is doing good how about you have the Dursley's been treating you good?" They sounded so touchy, and formal. Not casual like they used to be, with humorous jokes, and telling about what Fred, and George were up to now. He knew that he would have to write to them soon, because the letters were starting to get more urgent sounding, because he wasn't answering. He was just thinking that he should write to them when he realized what he had to say to them to save them. He was going to have to drive them away to keep them safe. He was going to have to make them mad at him, so that they wouldn't want to see him anymore. Just the thought of it made him want to curl up, and die, but he had to write this down in a letter. How could he do that, he couldn't pretend to hate them, and what if they got suspicious that he was just mad at them out of the blue. He was going to have to think of a reason to be mad at them, but what. He sat down at his desk, and took out a piece of parchment, and a pen, which he had left there last summer. He wrote at he top… _Dear Ron, and Hermione._ Harry didn't know what he was going to say. Just the first sentence had taken a lot of his will power. So he just jumped into it not really thinking of what he was writing saying to himself that he knew none of it was true, and that it was for the best. When he was finished he didn't even look it over he just shoved it in his desk drawer, and took two deep breaths. Even though the letter was in his desk drawer he could still see the words in his head, like they were etched there and wouldn't go away.

_Dear Ron, and Hermine,_

_I know that we haven't talked in a while, but that is because I have been thinking very deeply about something that is bothering me. I am not going to drag up to the reason that I am writing to you I'm just going to come out, and say it. It is your fault that Sirius died. If you hadn't been stupid enough not to talk me out of going to the Ministry of Magic he might not be dead. Also you guys could have told me more often to go, and work on my Occlumency, but you didn't so I feel that most of the blame lies in your hands. You guys were supposed to be my friends, and watch out for me, but all you do is follow me into danger even though I told you to stay. You just wanted me to feel more guilty when you guys got hurt, or you just wanted the fame of saying I went to the Ministry with Harry Potter. I don't even know why I became friends with you guys. I'm too famous to be seen with you slobs. I mean come on Hermine Granger, what a freak all you do is homework, and reading! This is, because your life is too dull to do anything else Mudblood. And Ron Weasley, the name explains itself. Low class doesn't have enough money to buy a feather. Your family are freaks too, and I've known all along that you're jealous of me. You look up to me like I'm a king, but don't waste your time, because you'll never be as good as me. So take your girlfriend, and leave me to my life._

Harry Potter 

Every word of that letter had cost him pain that was worse than even the crucio curse. Pain that ate you from the inside, and worked it's way to the outside. He crawled into his bed feeling like he was going to be sick. He didn't even think that they would believe the letter if he sent it to them, and the reason that he said he was mad at them was just so stupid, and not true. Just then someone unlocked his door to his room, and walked in. It was Uncle Vernon, and he had a menacing look on his face like he found something amusing.

"Well Harry I am pleased to see that you are lying down it will make my job a whole lot easier." He said smiling. Harry had know clue what he was talking about, so he stayed quiet.

"Why aren't the dishes done boy" he barked suddenly. Harry had totally forgot about the dishes. Great he thought another week without any dinner.

"I forgot" he said knowing that it wouldn't make a difference.

"Don't back talk me boy" he said angrily.

"Do you know what this means boy?" he smiled.

"Ya, ya I know, know dinner for a week" he said tiredly. Uncle Vernon smiled his most wicked smile yet.

"Oh know that doesn't seem to be working," he said pulling out a long stick from behind his back.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: All character belong to JK Rowling.

Chapter 2

An hour later he lay in his bed on his stomach still breathing heavily. His once white shirt was now a deep red. He had never thought that his uncle would do something like that, but he was wrong. He is insane he thought as he got up out of bed groaning from the pain in his back. He went to his closet to get another shirt on. That night he drifted in, and out of sleep, never knowing if he was asleep or awake, and waking up groaning every time he tried to roll over on his back.

The next two weeks went by painfully slow for Harry. Every night he woke up screaming from his ever-tormenting nightmares until he took a cloth every night and stuffed it in his mouth before he went to sleep so that when he woke up screaming they were muffled. Most of the time they were muffled enough to stop his uncle from waking up and giving him either the whip or belt. Soon it went into an ever to familiar system; wake up before dawn start on the forty chores that his uncle had given him the night before, work himself into exhaustion until 11:30 at night, get beat by his uncle for taking to long to get the chores done, fall into an uneasy sleep (if he was lucky), and then wake up screaming from the nights nightmares sometimes getting beaten. Then it happened all over again. Two weeks after he had arrived at the Dursley's Harry could be found in the kitchen breathing heavily while leaning against the counter trying to make breakfast. He was fairly certain that he had two broken ribs, all five of his fingers on his left hand were most likely broken, he was also certain the there was something wrong with his right leg because it had swollen up a lot and was a deep shade of purple, also the feeling of dizziness that occurred when he stepped on it couldn't be a great sign either. And even with all of that his body was a battlefield of bruises and cuts from the beatings received from uncle Vernon and a few from chores. He had currently started using the handle from a broken broom in the shed to keep his leg straight, but he could only put it on during chores he had to take it off by the end of the day for his beating because the last time he had been found wearing the crutch his uncle had used it in the beatings.

As Harry was preparing breakfast he thought back to earlier that morning…_He was at the door with his hand on the handle when he stopped. He knew that if he didn't do it now he would never do it. He walked to his desk opened the drawer, and grabbed the letter. He opened Hedwig's cage to let her out. She hooted cheerfully, and flew onto his arm. He placed her on his desk, and tried to tie the letter to her leg, but she was so happy that she would finally get to deliver a letter that she wouldn't stand still. Harry was starting to get frustrated when he couldn't get it on for the third time._

"HEDWIG will you stand still for just a minute!" Harry yelled. Hedwig stopped immediately, and stood still so that he could tie the letter to her leg, but looked at Harry the whole time reproachfully. After Harry had fixed the letter to her leg he saw her face, and was mad at himself for getting worked up

"_I'm sorry Hedwig I'm just a bit… I don't know, but anyways I'm sorry." Hedwig hooted cheerfully, and now looked at the letter attached to her leg. _

"_The letter is for Ron, and Hermione, you know where they are. Return back right away don't wait around okay?" Hedwig hooted so Harry took it that she understood. He opened the window, and she flew out into the warm summer sky._

He sighed heavily, and was pulled out of his thoughts when he looked over at Dudley for the first time noticing that he was making a scene. He was being swooned over by his aunt. He looked more closely now at the whale that was his cousin and saw a big gash on his forehead. He was hunched over on a chair with his head in his hands fake sobbing. Harry knew that it was his fake sobbing because he always did it when he wanted something. Uncle Vernon's face was beat red with anger, and Harry hopped that this argument, or what ever it was had nothing to do with him. He didn't want another beating, he didn't no if he could handle it. But it couldn't be about him he hadn't done anything since he had been downstairs, but when had that stopped them from blaming things on him. He cracked three eggs into the frying pan, and listened to the conversation that uncle Vernon, and Dudley were having.

"How dare they… how…could!" Uncle Vernon tried to yell out. Then Aunt Petunia came rushing back into the room holding about five packages of bandages in her hand, and looking very pale.

"Now Dudders you tell me exactly what happened okay sweet heart?" Aunt Petunia said worriedly.

"O…Kay" Dudley replied. He wiped fake tears from his eyes, and looked up.

"Well we were just sitting in the car when… when…" He buried his head into his hands, and started to fake sob again. Now Harry knew what had happened. Dudley was sixteen now , and it was time for him to get his drivers license. He had already tried to get it three other times this summer, but somehow always the Dursley's got a bill for having to tow a car out of a lake, or something else. Uncle Vernon was so proud that Dudley was trying to get his license that he had already bought him a new car. Aunt Petunia looked worriedly at Uncle Vernon, and quickly got up, and started to rub Dudley's massive back.

"It's okay Popkins it's all over you can tell mommy." Aunt Petunia whispered to Dudley. Dudley took a huge breath of air, and let it out slowly.

"Then I was turning, and the stupid guy told me that I forgot to put on my signal lights, so I went to put them on, and when I wasn't looking I drove into a pole. It hurt so badly." Dudley finished quickly.

"Well obviously it was all his fault don't you agree Vernon?" Aunt Petunia said angrily.

"They seriously hurt him what if he has that scar for the rest of his life. Now this made Harry a little uneasy he didn't want to have anything in common with Dudley especially not his scar.

"He could have died!" Aunt Petunia finished exasperating.

"Of course I agree with you Petunia, and I will march down there right now, and have a talk with them. I'll sue if I have too!" Uncle Vernon yelled.

"Me, and Dudders will come with you. They should see what they have done to this innocent boy." Aunt Petunia replied.

"Are you okay to walk sweet pie?"

"I… think so." Dudley said slowly.

"Well what are we waiting for then lets get going," Uncle Vernon said. Harry had just finished making the bacon, and had put the pan into the sink rather noisily. Uncle Vernon turned around, and looked at Harry. He stared at him for a while, and then seemed to make up his mind.

"Boy you will finish making breakfast, and put it somewhere where it will stay warm, and then go to your room. If I find any evidence that you have been out of your room, you will regret it. You understand?" Uncle Vernon said sternly.

"Yes sir," he replied as he staked more dishes into the dishwasher. His Uncle turned quickly, and walked out of the room. A few minutes later he heard the front door slam shut, and the click of the lock being turned.

A/N: Hey, this is my first fan fiction so please go easy on me. Thanks to Suzuki-chan, and Padawan Jan-AQ for being my first reviewers, and special thanks to Suzuki-chan for the advice, which I kept it in mind while writing this chapter. Please R&R! I'm always looking for pointer to make my writing better so please don't be afraid to give me tips, and advice.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter3

As soon as the lock clicked Harry crumpled down onto the floor, and leant against the wall to support his aching back. He was so tired. He didn't know how much more of this he would be able to take before he broke. He wondered vaguely how long it took for a person to die from exhaustion. He hoped desperately that it didn't take that long. All he wanted to do was rest. Closing his eyes he entered into darkness, but he couldn't fall asleep, he was too scared of what wait for him in his dreams, and if his Uncle found him asleep on the kitchen floor. Harry still smelt the bacon he had cooked not long ago, and it made his stomach hurt, and grumble loudly. He moaned lightly in annoyance as though his stomach would get the hint to be quiet. The strange thing was Harry wasn't hungry at all, which he found strange since the only thing he had eaten since he had gotten here was a couple pieces of stale bread, and water, and the only reason he had eaten that was because his stomach wouldn't shut up. Just the thought of food made him a bit nauseous. Food just didn't seem that important. He sighed heavily, and opened his eyes, squinting from the light coming from the window. Better start on the living room. He was asked, well more like ordered by his aunt to clean every inch of the living room, which was a mess from Dudley's friends that were over late last night, and had been in the living room with there muddy shoe's on, and were deliberately grabbing anything that wasn't attached to something and throwing it across the room. Uncle Vernon had, had a fit, and of course blamed it all on Harry. Harry shuddered slightly remembering the beating he had gotten for that the night before. He got up slowly wincing, and biting his lip to stop himself from yelling out. He surveyed the living room from the doorway trying to decide where to start. He finally decided he would gather all the picture's, and momentums first incase he accidentally stepped on something important. He leaned down slowly trying not to disturb his leg, and picked up the closest object near him, which unfortunately was fairly heavy. It was Dudley's wrestling trophy that he had won a year or two ago. Harry looked at it more closely now a familiar prickling behind his eyes, and a lump in his throat. He had never noticed before what a resemblance it had to the Triwizard Cup. A picture of Cedric's dead form lying on the ground beneath Harry flashed before him. Harry closed his eyes tightly trying to rid the image from his mind, but it just wouldn't go away. Why was he so weak, Harry thought desperately, now unable to stop the tears from flowing down his hollow face. For Gods sake he was crying over a fricking trophy. He threw it on the ground angrily. He had to be strong; he had to show no emotion that is what everyone else wanted. He was supposed to be the brave one, the one everyone else looked to for support. He was the shoulder to cry on. If he had just controlled his emotions before Sirius might not have been dead. If he had stayed calm, and thought the situation out he would have realized he could have used the mirror to call Sirius to check on him, but no he had to be the hero, and jump into action. Harry had gone over the what ifs to many times to count, but they hit him harder each time he thought about them. But now they seemed to be suffocating him. Harry started to breath heavily. He clutched his head with his hands, and pressed as hard as he could thinking maybe if he pushed hard enough his brain would stop working, but it wasn't working. He yelled out in frustration, and started to kick the wall as hard as he could with his non-injured leg. It hurt like hell, but after awhile it just didn't matter. Harry stopped kicking when he was so exhausted that he couldn't stand anymore, and he collapsed on the floor breathing heavily, and crying silently. He lay like that for minute's hours he didn't no how long, and he didn't care. He fought that darkness that wanted to engulf him, but he didn't have the energy, and he was soon swallowed into the darkness of sleep.

Harry woke up to silence. When he opened his eyes all he saw was white. He struggled for a few minutes to figure out where he was when he remembered the past events. He sat up painfully, and looked around. He was still in the living room, which looked worse than it had before he had gotten in there. Now with the mess from Dudley's friends was the blood all over the carpet, and the wall. Speaking of the wall Harry had know clue how he was going to cover that huge dent. Harry closed his eyes again wishing he were still asleep. Harry had actually slept surprisingly well with not a single nightmare. He tried to shift his leg but couldn't seem to so he opened his eyes to inspect it, but immediately regretted it. His foot was three times bigger than normal, and covered in fresh, and dried blood. He was pretty sure that all of his toes were broken, and his ankle, but surprisingly Harry couldn't feel a thing. At the moment that was fine to Harry, he wasn't sure he wanted to be able to feel it. He wondered why the Dursley's were not home yet he must have at least been out one or two hours. They had probably gone out for lunch, and knowing how much Dudley eats that could take a couple more hours. Harry tried to get up once but as soon as he was upright he became extremely dizzy, and had to grab the wall for support. Once the dizziness had passed Harry hobbled over painfully slowly to the kitchen. Once there he took, and old dish cloth, and wrapped it as best he could around his damaged foot, and secured it. Then he started his journey up the stairs, which now felt like a damn mountain to Harry.

Half an hour later Harry was in the bathroom running his leg under warm water, and carefully trying to get off all the blood. As soon as his leg was as clean as he thought that he could get it he took, and old brace that Dudley had used when he had injured his leg in wrestling, and he secured it tightly on his leg. He could now feel a light tingling in his leg, but he ignored it. After he had wrapped gauze around his swollen foot he took a knife, and cut off the end of the gauze, but his left hand that was holding his leg got in the path of the knife, and made a gash on his palm. He hissed in pain, and dropped the knife to the ground, but something kept his eyes glued to his palm which blood now flowed out of. He watched as the blood pooled at the side of his hand, and then dropped into the white sink leaving a trail of blood going down the ever so white sink. He didn't no why he was so transfixed on the blood. Harry felt his heartbeat increase in speed, and was excited. It felt like a rush of energy had just entered him. His body that had felt so… so numb was now so alive. All the pent up emotion that he hadn't even realized had been there was released. It was seeping out with his blood. Harry started to chuckle softly, but it soon increased into a laugh, and then he was on the ground rolling around in hysterical laughter. He had no clue what was so funny, but he couldn't stop. He didn't want to stop. He never wanted to stop.

Remus Lupin stood outside of number four privet with a deep frown on his tired face. He was on the doorstep of the Dursley's house wearing normal everyday muggle clothes, and looking behind him every so often to check if anyone was watching him. He raised his hand as if to knock on the door, but dropped it after a moment. Remus had been asked to pick Harry up at 12:00 by Professor Dumbledore, and to bring him directly to headquarters with his things. It was now 11:40, and Remus had never been so nervous to see Harry before. He wasn't sure how Harry was coping with Sirius's death, and was afraid if it was anything like how he himself was doing. He was also scared that Harry wouldn't want to talk to him. That he would close himself off to everyone. He reluctantly raised his hand, and knocked on the door. He looked down at his shoes, and fidgeted with his hands for a while, but no one came to the door. He decided to try again, but this time he rang the doorbell. After another couple of minutes he started to grow worried. He took out his wand making sure to keep it hidden in his robes, and muttered Alohamora, and opened the door after hearing the click of the lock. Once fully inside he closed the door, and looked around trying to spot someone.

"Hello?" Remus said cautiously, and after receiving no answer he ventured into the kitchen with his wand still out. He knew that the Dursley's were not going to be home until later tonight, he had been told by Dumbledore that the Order was going to keep them away from the house some how until later tonight so he knew that they weren't in the house, but where was Harry?

"Harry are you here?" he yelled again. He listened carefully for any sound of movement. He heard the creaking of boards upstairs, and the shuffling of feat. He waited to see if anyone was coming downstairs, but know one did.

"Harry is that you?" Remus questioned yelling loud enough so that if someone was upstairs they would be able to hear him. Again no reply. Now he was starting to get a little worried. He started to walk briskly up the stairs, and to the room which he knew was Harry's.

"Harry it's Remus are you there?" he said right outside of Harry's door. When he received no response he opened the door. He sighed inwardly with relief when he was Harry sitting on his bed looking towards the doorway at him.

"Hello Professor Lupin, when did you get hear?" he questioned looking just to the side of his gaze.

"Didn't you hear me Harry? I've been calling you from downstairs" he replied looking Harry over closely. He could tell that the boy hadn't gotten much sleep at all. His eyes where hollow, and red rimmed from crying. He also looked fairly skinny, but he couldn't tell by how much because of the oversized shirt that he had on. Other than that he looked to be fairly healthy. He could tell that he had just been moving around very quickly because his face was tinged red, and he was breathing heavily even though he was trying to hide it.

"Harry is something wrong?" he asked concerned.

"No, why would you ask? Harry said looking confused.

"You just look like you went for a jog or something," he answered checking him over again just in case he missed anything wrong.

"Oh well you just surprised me is all" he said not meeting his gaze. Remus could tell that Harry was different. He couldn't explain it exactly, but he knew. He put this thought to the back of his mind.

"Well you scared me too, when you didn't answer I was a bit worried" he said truthfully smiling at Harry.

"Sorry Professor," Harry said sincerely meeting Remus's eyes at last. He was a bit shocked at the emptiness in Harry's eyes, but then Harry broke the gaze, and he remembered that he had to speak.

"Harry what have I told you about calling me professor Lupin, call me Remus please. Professor makes me feel so old" he said walking over to Harry, and sitting down beside him.

"Alright" he said looking straight ahead. Remus sighed knowing what he had to do.

"Harry I think we need to talk about…" but Remus was cut short by another voice.

"Hey anybody here!"

After Harry had finally stopped laughing he cleaned up the mess made, and finished cleaning up the living room making sure to scrub most of the blood out of the carpet only leaving a very faint red mark on the carpet which he covered with the rug. He decided that the Dursley's wouldn't care if he switched the living room around a bit so he moved the TV to go in front of the dent caused by Harry's foot. When he had finally finished that he had gone upstairs to change clothes so that he could start on the chores for the day. He already new that he wasn't going to get them all finished because of the time he had wasted before in the living room, but he decided that he would try and get as much as he could done, so that his beating was too bad. Once changed his exhaustion finally started to take a toll on him. He sat down on his bed, and closed his eyes just resting. Twice in the same day he was resting this was one of his better days Harry thought to himself. But his rest was disturbed. He opened his eyes did he just hear the click of the lock. It must be the Dursley's, but he hadn't heard the car pull up.

"Hello?" Harry heard a familiar voice say. No it couldn't be he thought. He waited a couple more minutes

"Harry are you there?" he heard the voice say again. It couldn't be him. Could it be Lupin, and why was he here. Oh god I can't let him see me like this he thought. He stood up quickly even though his legs protested fiercely, and went over to his trunk. He needed to get something to ease the pain in his legs. He rummaged in his bag until he found what he was looking for; a healing potion. Madame Pomphry had given it to Harry after he had been in a quiditch accident, and he hadn't used it. He popped the top off of it, and downed the whole thing in one gulp, and swallowed quickly. Soon he felt the familiar sensation of the potion working on his aching body.

"Harry is that you?" he heard Lupin yell from the kitchen, and then heard him briskly walking up the stairs Harry quickly closed his trunk, and looked himself over making sure that he looked alright. He was very thankful for Madame Malkims quick cover up, which was a magic cover up that concealed blemishes, and pimples, or in Harry's case bruises, and cuts. He had ordered it a week after the summer had begun, and had been very thankful. Once he was sure that none of his bruises or cuts was showing he ran back to his bed, and sat down, just as he heard Professor Lupin question,

"Harry it's me are you there?" and he opened the door. The werewolf looked much more tired than usual, and that was saying something. He also looked scared, and worried as he looked at Harry from the doorway. Harry saw relief flash in his eyes when he saw Harry.

"Hello Professor Lupin, when did you get here?" he said trying not to sound too out of breath. Harry made sure not to meet his gaze.

"Didn't you hear me Harry? I've been calling you from downstairs" Lupin said. Harry tensed slightly as he felt the Professor's gaze looking him over.

"Harry is something wrong?" Lupin said finally sounding concerned. Harry was scared. How had he known.

"No, why would you ask?" he replied trying to look confused, but inside he was panicking.

"You just look like you went for a jog or something" Lupin replied, and he felt his gaze look him over again.

"Oh well you just surprised me is all" he said trying to sound as normal as possible, and still did not meet his old Professor's eyes.

"Well you scared me too, when you didn't answer I was a bit worried" he said after a moments pause.

"Sorry Professor," Harry said sincerely. Finally he met the werewolf's gaze, and they stared at each other for a minute. Harry could see sadness in those eyes, and years of pain, which made Harry, feel bad for not being there for Remus when he needed him. Harry broke the gaze ashamed of himself.

"Harry what have I told you about calling me professor Lupin, call me Remus please. Professor makes me feel so old" he said smiling at him, and he heard him walk over to the bed, and sit down. Harry looked straight ahead not wanting to look at those sad brown eyes any longer.

"Alright" he said saying anything to fill the silence.

"Harry I think we need to talk about…" but another voice cut Remus's short.

"Hey anybody here!"

They all looked like they were exhausted. Tonks had bags under her eyes, kingsly's eyes were half open, and even Moody was slumped over more than usual. They were all holding brooms, and ready to go.

"Hello Harry!" Tonks, said happily putting on the biggest grin she could muster. Harry smiled back at her.

"Hi" Harry replied.

"Long time know see Harry how's it been going?" Kingsly asked also smiling at Harry.

"Good thank you. How about you I've heard that you have been busy." Harry asked politely.

"You have know idea. Can't sit down for a minute can we?" growled Moody.

"But, things have to be done, and someone has to do them" Moody added grumpily. Moody was never that good at welcomes, and didn't look extremely happy to see Harry, but Harry didn't care much, he didn't care for much for anything anymore.

"Well enough sitting around even though that is what we all would like to do, we have to get you to the Order before Lunch so lets get going" Moody said wirily.

"Are you packed yet?" he asked.

"No he isn't" Lupin replied for him.

"I just got here shortly before you three did. Harry do you want one of us to go up, and help you pack?" Lupin asked.

"No, that's okay it'll only take a minute." Harry said hurriedly. He walked out of the room as quickly as he could without fainting out of pain. He hoped desperately that they couldn't see him limp; also he was grateful that he had his face turned away from the order members. When he finally made it to his bedroom he packed as quickly as possible. His room was fairly neat because he had been in his room most of the summer and had nothing better to do so he cleaned the little things that he had in his room. The only thing he could get from his room was his muggle clothes, which he had few of. He took all his clothes, and put them on his bed, when he remembered that his suitcase was under the stairs. He limped downstairs ignoring the pain coursing through his entire body and entered the living room trying to walk as normally as possible making sure he schooled his face to look as normal as possible. When he entered the room he found Lupin talking quietly with Tonks, Moody, and Kingsly. As soon as they saw him enter the room they split apart quickly.

"Umm sorry to disturb you, but could one of you help me open the cupboard under the stairs my school stuff is under there it's locked." Harry asked rather quickly.

"Why is it under there?" Lupin asked suspiciously.

"Oh the Dursley's don't really… Well they understand that I can't do magic out of school, and they are still a bit scared of me, but what else is new anyway…" Harry stopped not wanting to sound like he was complaining.

"Well I can come, and open it for you," Tonks said happily.

"Show me the way."

"Okay follow me." Harry said, and walked out of the room, and into the hallway. He stopped in front of the cupboard, and waited for Tonks. Tonks came up beside him, and looked at the lock.

"Well look at this silly thing. I don't know how muggles can stand not having magic. It makes life a whole lot easier." She said airily taking out her wand, and giving it a swish. There was a click, and the door swung open.

"There… you go," she said trying to stifle a yawn.

"Sorry I've been so tired lately."

"Thanks. Ill go up and finish packing." He said, and walked slowly back up the stairs with his suitcase, and broom clutched in his hands. He had just finished putting all his clothing into his suitcase, and was at the door, but stopped. He turned around, and yanked the lose floorboard up, and grabbed all of his letters, including all the previous letters of Sirius's. He didn't know what to do with them. He didn't need them, but he didn't want to throw them away. A silent tear trickled down his face, but was hardly noticeable by Harry. He stood there for a while trying to figure out what to do with them.

"What's that?" Lupin had just come into his room, and was reading behind his back.

"Oh it's nothing" Harry replied, and he threw one of the last reminders of Sirius into the trash, and walked out of the room with Lupin behind him.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

An hour and a half later they had finally reached the Order Headquarters. Harry was totally exhausted, and halfway through the flight the pain in his leg increased twenty times then what it had originally been. He berated himself mentally asking himself why he had made it even harder for himself to hide his injuries. Well there was nothing he could do about it now; it was over and done with.

He landed roughly outside of Grimauld Place, and couldn't help but make a small yelp when his too injured legs hit the ground. He was very grateful that it was fairly windy that day, and hard to hear, but he still got a glance from Remus who looked him over quickly again. Harry made sure his emotionless mask was in place as he tried more desperately than ever to walk as normally as possible to the door. Thank fully no one noticed anything, and he applauded himself inwardly on his great acting skills.

Once inside Grimauld Place Remus motioned for Harry to follow him, so he walked behind Remus towards the kitchen. The rest of the Order had said that they needed to go off, and do other things, and Harry hoped that it was only he, and Remus in the building so that he could ask Remus to be excused to his room for the rest of the day, but as they got closer to the kitchen Harry heard the sound of quiet murmuring, and the clashing of pots, and pans. He closed his eyes briefly taking a deep breath to collect himself before he and Remus submerged from the hallway into the dimly lit kitchen.

At the kitchen table Mr. Weasley and Dumbledore who were deep in discussion were silenced by the two new arrivals, and in front of the stove was Mrs. Weasley stirring what appeared to be a large pot of stew. When the two men at the table stopped talking she turned around, and saw Harry, and Remus standing in the doorway to the kitchen, and she smiled warmly at them.

"Harry dear, finally I thought that you would never get here," she exclaimed as she walked briskly over to Harry, and pulled him into a tight embrace. Harry hugged back as best he could, suppressing the groan of pain that wanted to escape his mouth, and making sure to look away from Remus as he winced in pain from his ribs being squeezed so tightly. When the hug ended he tried to appear as if the pain hadn't caused him any pain what so ever, but he didn't no how successful he had been, for his insides were screaming in agonizing pain. Mrs. Weasley stepped back, and looked Harry over from head to toe, and shook her head.


End file.
